Scroll down into this post and you will find my writing from the Fall of 2014. I wrote about just one of the tough decisions adoptive parents have to make. I will continue to pull my old blog writings over onto this one! Hopefully these posts from the past will be helpful to someone…and help you get a better glimpse of who I am.
Do we furnish a nursery ahead of time? Or not?
Since this writing, we were matched with a birth mom for a few months…and then that plan fell through. I will one day write about that experience here. There was so much pain, it makes it hard to write. Yet so much wisdom and growth came from it…so I am compelled to do my best in sharing the story.
Also since the below writing, we fostered a baby for a couple weeks. I will also be writing about that experience too. Once my heart is ready to share. That was also emotionally wrecking. Yet once again, so much growth and blessing came from it…I am also willing to share the story.
Look how small Emmy Kay is here!!
Written on October 30, 2014
Every adoption is different and this journey is already very different from the experience we had with Emerson. We were matched unexpectedly and after meeting her birth mom, we decided on making plans for baby names, a nursery, bought diapers and cleared the guest room to start getting baby furniture. We have been asked this time if we are preparing a nursery or stocking up on baby supplies….and the answer is…not yet.
Kind of a hot topic in the adoption community. All opinions are valid and I respect the different choices.
We haven’t talked baby names or figured out a paint color yet. The reality is, it is hard to start a nursery and stockpile diapers when we have no leads to a potential match. Hard because it requires the heart being ahead of the reality. Hard because once we do get matched it could fall through. Hard because maybe the baby wont be a newborn but 14 months old. Hard because we might have to look at a room 100% ready for a precious one and have to wait 2 years until his or her arrival. I think I am close to starting to stockpile a few baby items…just not quite yet. Once we do get matched up I KNOW that my heart will jump all the way in. That was my attitude with Emmy…prepare my heart for her. I am so thankful for that decision to be emotionally ready for her. My decision is to deal with the pain of a reversed adoption only if that situation comes. Meanwhile……
I love to search for and find inspirational adoption stories and quotes as a way to help me wait patiently…the other day I came across this list of prayers to stay faithful during the adoption wait.
My plan is to spend a good amount of time on each one and really live and learn from this waiting period. Of course, these can be applied to so many situations so go through these with me if you would like.
Today the verse was, “We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but GOD ’s purpose prevails.” (Proverbs 19:21 MSG)
How perfect for someone like me haha! I love to take action and make things happen. It probably makes sense to stock up on bottles and diapers…but what if our child is already 5 months old or a toddler? I want to be careful not to get in the way of God’s plan and purpose by keeping my mind stuck on only adopting a newborn. There are so many other things other than this adoption journey that I could give over to God to have His purpose prevail. I plan on taking a deep look at my heart and what else I could give over.
Jesus, please determine my steps. Thanks for sharing this journey with us. You are all precious to me.
Reading through this old post, I still have mostly the same thoughts about furnishing a nursery/bedroom.
We WERE “matched” with a birth mom for long enough to prepare a nursery 100%. Then it failed. She changed her mind several weeks before the due date.
We weren’t sure how to emotionally handle a room full of the reminders of that little girl. Jesus and time has healed us though. We have moved recently and don’t have that room staring at us anymore. We were able to sell, donate, or re-purpose the gender specific items. We have gotten past the behavioral struggles it caused our daughter. Big emotions are hard for little ones to know what to do with. We saved the basic baby stuff and eventually were able to use it all for the baby we fostered for a couple weeks. When it was time for her to go…we sent ALL the baby stuff (all of it) with her. The baby season has ended for us. We know it and are thankful to have that direction.
A new chapter has begun!